A Blank…White Sheet of Paper

Photograph by Brittany Johnson @ Ordinarymiracleoflife.com

Photograph by Brittany Johnson @ Ordinarymiracleoflife.com

Beep, Beep, Beep… my alarm goes off.  I roll over and push the snooze button…once, twice, and three times!!

Do I have to get up!!??  Yes… I have to get my daughter to school.  I slowly crawl out of bed in all of my glory with messy hair and make-up under my eyes.  I make breakfast and get my daughter ready for school.  Today, I decided to drop her off in my pjs and with messy hair… I just didn’t have the energy to get myself ready.

I pull up to the school drop-off curb and let her out of the car.  I perceive many parents to be dressed nicely, hair brushed, make-up on and happy for the day.  But, is this really true I guess I will never know.  I give my daughter a hug and kiss and send her on her way.  Always saying, “Make a difference, be the best you can be… and enjoy your day!”

Back home I go with my son who is five years old, full of energy and zest for life.  Exhausted from the past week, I ask him if I can sleep for just 1 hour!?  I turn on ABC Mouse, an educational game for kids, and off I go.  I lay in bed… 2 minutes later… “Mommy..can you help me?”, 4 minutes later…”Mommy, I’m hungry”… and on and on as you can imagine!  Our dog keeps coming into our room to “see how I am doing”!  The laundry beeper went off… The phone rang at least 4 times and thoughts of all the things I needed to do ran through my mind.  “Mommy can you please get up?!”

So much for sleep and relaxation!!

So I get our of bed, get him some more food and turn on a TV show.  The house is quiet!….

As I lay in silence, I begin to quiet my mind and become connected again with my breath.  How is it that I have spent the last 5 years of my life learning about peace, optimal health and relaxation; but, ironically, still have moments of sadness, anger, worry and a noisy mind?  How could I be blessed with so many gifts, yet still feel as though I want more?   I feel so guilty for these thoughts knowing that I have a healthy/happy family, a beautiful home, and an amazing job.  But, these feelings are real.  Am I the only one who feels this way?  Or.. is this life… a reality to all?

True, I would love to spend my life in deep spiritual meditation, feeling peace, and love for all… but I have obligations and responsibilities.   I also realize that I was given my body, mind, and spirit as a gift!  A gift to do what??  What are we really supposed to do with our lives?.. Our body?  Our mind?

Some people lay in bed in a state of sadness/depression all day.  Some are extremely successful entrepreneurs.  Some homeless begging for food and shelter.  Some teachers, blue and white collar workers, professional athletes, moms, dads, grandparents.  Some religious… some are not.  Artists, musicians, actors… and the list goes on and on….

But…the most important thing that I have realized is that we all are people, some happy, some sad, some calm, some worried, some constantly wishing they had more and more, some wishing they had less… What I believe is true is that we likely are a combination of all of these identities.

What is your truth? Who are you?  How have you created your life to be?  At your deepest, most honest level of stillness, how would you describe your overall state of peace, happiness, joy, and comfort?

I can assure you that we have the capacity as humans to choose our state of happiness, peace, love and joy.   At any time we have the capacity to change our thoughts immediately… if we choose.  We have the potential to be anything we want to be…if we choose.  We have the potential to have as much or as little as we choose of anything!  We have the ability to create our life as we choose.

So, as I lay in bed, I see a picture… well not really a picture… I see a PURE WHITE sheet of paper.  BLANK … nothing on it, no rules, no boundaries, no edges, no history, no future, no color, no feelings, no emotions, no connections or ties.  Just merely a space that is BLANK, WHITE, PURE, and open to endless possibilities.

Can you imagine your life if you had no boundaries or preconceived notions of who you are or who you are to become?

If you had no boundaries, no preconceived notions, how would you CREATE YOUR LIFE today?  What would be on your paper… what wouldn’t?  What would you do differently if you had no cords, ties or obligations? What makes YOU feel peace, love, joy, and comfort?  How would you create your future, your relationships, your job, your free time?

Breathe your truth!

For YOUR truth will bring more Peace and Love to you… and ultimately this world.  Slowly, gently begin to realize your truth… Feel the white, blank paper simply as it is…. then slowly begin to gently allow loving creations to emerge… as quickly or slowly as you wish.

Take a moment to honestly reflect on your life, who you are, and who you have become.

Are you the person who you want to be?? Or…have you become the person your surroundings created?  Or, a combination of both?

Do you ever feel as though you are going through life and then all of a sudden you have taken a completely different trajectory of your life than you want?  Or a combination?

Or, do you feel your life is exactly the way you want it?

If you think about who your are and where you are in life, I suspect you are a product of your surroundings, your upbringing, your family, your friends, your choices, and your experiences.

You may have ended up becoming who you are based on beliefs of other people. But in the privacy of your own mind… ask yourself… are YOU TRULY HAPPY with who YOU are and the LIFE YOU are living?

So, as I crawl out of bed, I opened my mind to new possibilities.

Ask yourself… Just for today, how am I going to design and create my day? My life?

What I realized was that I had been putting to much emphasis on what I THOUGHT I should be doing rather than what I wanted to do.  I also realized that yes, there are things I need to do to survive … may not want to do them… but, just  try to get them done quickly and enjoy the process.  I learned to shift my attention to the things that are more important to me…  Further, I realize again how important it is to be in the moment , enjoy what I’m doing, and to really see the beauty in all!!

We have the potential to create our day and life as we choose!  How are your going to create your day?  Your life?

When you wake up each morning, gently place your feet and toes on the ground.  Ground yourself.  Take several full, loving and peaceful breaths.  See YOUR PURE WHITE sheet of paper.  What type of Masterpiece are you going to create Today… Tomorrow… and for a Lifetime???

           “When you are in Quietness,  and your image of yourself fades, and your image of the world fades, and your ideas of other fade, what is left?…A Brightness, a Radiant Emptiness that is Simply what your are….”  –Adya Shanti

Always remember:

      “Just for Today… Do not Anger.  Just for Today, Do not Worry.  Honor your Parents, Teachers and Elders.  Earn your Living Honestly.  Show Gratitude to ALL Living Beings.” –Dr. Makao Usui

With Much Love and Light! bmj

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